Mantra of the Week: 11/16/20

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

The past couple of weeks have been a lesson for me in trusting in Divine timing. And I can admit: At times, it’s been a challenge for me. I’ve been feeling like things are moving slowly, and I’ve been a little discouraged. Thankfully, Spirit keeps sending me these little reminders. One thing I’ve had to realize/remember that just like the Earth has seasons, our lives do, too. And to have more peace, joy and harmony in my life, I have to embrace whatever season I’m in as if I chose it. There’s something to learn from every experience, whether “good” or “bad.” (I’m using quotes because, in my opinion, it’s a matter of perception).

Spirit has also reminded me to:⠀

* Stop looking at other people.⠀
* Focus on my purpose and mission.⠀
* Keep the faith and be grateful in the here and now.⠀
* Trust MY own beautiful journey. ⠀

I encourage you to trust the journey you’re on, and trust Divine Timing knowing that Spirit/your Higher Power has your back. Always, in all ways.

10 Affirmations for Your Solar Plexus Chakra

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

Chakras refer to the wheels of energy throughout our bodies in yoga, meditation, and Ayurveda. There are seven main chakras that align the spine, starting at the base and through the crown of your head. Because they affect our psychological, emotional, and spiritual states of being, it’s important that the chakras stay open, fluid, and aligned.

Located a few inches above your navel, the solar plexus relates to your personal power, self-worth, self-esteem, will power and confidence.

When your solar plexus is unbalanced/unhealed, you might experience:

  • low self-esteem, low self-worth
  • lack of trust in yourself
  • lack of confidence
  • being aggressive/controlling

When your solar plexus is healed and balanced, you’ll likely experience:

  • personal power
  • confidence
  • joy
  • motivation

Associated color: yellow.

Crystals to use: citrine, pyrite, tiger’s eye, yellow aventurine, yellow jade.

One way to heal your chakras is through affirmations. Here are 10 to use for your solar plexus:

  1. I fully own and stand in my power.
  2. I am confident in who I am.
  3. I am so f*ckin’ worthy.
  4. My joy matters so I choose joy.
  5. I love being authentically me.
  6. I am courageous and resilient.
  7. I am creating an amazing life for myself.
  8. I allow myself to shine.
  9. I am successful in my own right.
  10. I can choose what’s best for my life

Have questions about this post? Reach out to me here

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10 Affirmations for Your Sacral Chakra

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

Chakras refer to the wheels of energy throughout our bodies in yoga, meditation, and Ayurveda. There are seven main chakras that align the spine, starting at the base and through the crown of your head. Because they affect our psychological, emotional, and spiritual states of being, it’s important that the chakras stay open, fluid, and aligned.

Located in the pelvis/reproductive area, the sacral chakra connects to our feelings, emotions, sexuality, sensuality and creativity.

When your sacral chakra unbalanced/unhealed, you might experience:

  • shame around your body and sexuality.
  • creative blocks.
  • resistance to change.
  • being out of alignment with your emotions.

When it’s balanced and healed, you:

  • are in tune with your emotions.
  • are more flexible, patient and in the flow.
  • allow yourself to experience pleasure.
  • are more sensual and creative.

Associated color: orange.

Crystals to use: carnelian, peach moonstone, orange calcite, sunstone.

One way to heal your chakras is through affirmations. Here are 10 to use for your sacral:

  1. I embrace life with passion.
  2. I allow myself to experience pleasure.
  3. Creativity flows through me.
  4. I am co-creator with the Divine.
  5. I allow myself to feel all of my emotions.
  6. I enjoy my sensuality and sexuality.
  7. I love life, and life loves me.
  8. I deserve for life to feel good.
  9. I own my feminine magic.
  10. I am free to be who I am and enjoy my life.

Have any questions about using these affirmations or this post? Email me here.

10 Affirmations For Your Root Chakra

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

If you’re reading this, you might already know what chakras are.  If not (or you aren’t entirely sure), chakras refer to the wheels of energy throughout our bodies in yoga, meditation, and Ayurveda. There are seven main chakras that align the spine, starting at the base and through the crown of your head. Because they affect our psychological, emotional, and spiritual states of being, it’s important that the chakras stay open, fluid, and aligned.

The root chakra is located at the base of your spine and consists of the things that ground you to stability in your life. This includes your basic physical needs (food, water, shelter, safety) and your emotional needs (like moving past fear and worry).

When your root chakra is unbalanced, you might feel:

  • “out of it”/like your mind is all over the place.
  • anxious or worried.
  • unworthy.

When the root chakra is balanced, you feel:

  • stable.
  • secure.
  • trusting (of yourself and your Higher Power).

Associated color: red.

Crystals to use: red jasper, red aventurine, ruby, smoky quartz, black tourmaline (just to name a few).

One way to heal your chakras is through affirmations. Here are 10 to use:

  1. I am safe, and it is safe to be safe.
  2. I am rooted and grounded.
  3. I am secure.
  4. I release all fear and anxiety.
  5. I am supported in every way by Life.
  6. My ancestors are always with me.
  7. I am abundant and live in an abundant universe.
  8. I always have what I need
  9. I trust Life and Divine Timing.
  10.  I rest in the knowing that things always work out for me.

Have any questions about using these affirmations or this post? Email me here.

5 Days to More Calm: Meditation

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

Today’s topic for 5 Days to More Calm is meditation which is probably the top practice I use to find calm. Meditation can be defined as “a precise technique for resting the mind and attaining a state of consciousness that is totally different from the normal waking state.” (Yoga International) Additionally, it can be a way to find your inner peace and a way to train your mind so you’re not constantly caught up in your thoughts.

I discovered the amazingness of meditation through starting my yoga practice. At the time, I did an online meditation challenge with yoga instructor Faith Hunter and fell in love with it. Becoming a consistent meditator is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself, and the practice has literally changed my life. It has taught me to be in the present moment more often, I’m able to hear Spirit and my intuition more easily, and I can tap into my inner peace when I need to throughout the day.

Meditation also:

  • Helps you create a more positive mindset and helps you focus on more productive thoughts.
  • Decreases your tendency to worry and/or overthink.
  • Can lessen anxiety and depression.
  • Reduces your stress levels.
  • Improves your concentration.
  • Strengthens your immune system.

Some types of meditations you can try include:

  • Concentration: You focus on an object (like the flame of a candle, a figurine or crystal), a mantra/word or affirmation as you meditate. If/when your mind wanders, bring your awareness back to your object of focus.
  • Mindfulness: In this type of meditation, the intent is to allow your thoughts to come and go while also being aware of your breathing and any sensations you feel.
  • Mantra: Here, you can repeat a mantra like ‘Om,’ ‘Peace,’ or ‘Relax.’ Or use an affirmation (or a few) like, ‘I am calm and centered,’ or ‘All is well.’

Here are a few tips and ideas for getting started with your home practice:

Set up space for it. You can use a spare room if you have it (but you definitely don’t need it) or space in your bedroom. You can include things like a yoga mat or meditation pillow, incense, candles, crystals and/or anything that brings you calm and positive vibes.

Prepare your body.

Ways to sit: If you’re on the floor or on your bed, you can sit in traditional meditation style, kneel or with your legs in front of you. If you’re in a chair, plant your feet on the floor. Keep a straight spine (you can sit against a wall if you need to).

Hands: A few simple ways to place your hands are: palms up or down on your legs, prayer position with your hands at your heart or bring your index finger and thumb together while resting your hands on your legs.

Breathing: The simplest technique to use is deep abdominal breathing. Inhale fully, allowing your belly to expand, and exhale completely, letting your belly button go towards your spine. If you find it challenging to keep your breath even and/or to focus, as you inhale, count to 5, and as you exhale, count to 5.

Make time for it. Decide how often you want to meditate and what time(s) of day. Then put a reminder in your phone or add it to your to-do list. Try different times/days to see what works best for you.

Start small. You can begin with 5 minutes a day (or even less if you need to), then work your way up to longer times as you grow in your practice.

Remember it’s a practice. You may fall off with your consistency or feel like it’s not working or find that it’s challenging to keep your mind still and focused. It’s okay; it happens (yes, even to me, even after all these years). I encourage you to do your best, to keep going, and know that the more you practice, the more you will reap the benefits of meditation.

Need assistance with starting your meditation practice? My book, ‘The Black Girl’s Guide to Calm’ has tips to help! Learn more and order/download your copy in the Black Mom Calm Shop.

5 Days to More Calm: Affirmations

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

What you think and say to and about yourself has a huge impact on how you feel and the way you live your life. This is why using affirmations is so important! If you want to have more inner peace, joy, harmony, abundance (just to name a few), you have to focus on and speak life about what you want.

One definition of affirmations is “simple, positive statements declaring specific goals in their completed states.” (Jack Canfield)

I’ve been writing down positive quotes since I was in high school, and I think I first heard the word “affirmation” when I was in college or right after. I’ve been using them consistently for 10+ years, and they have improved my life — and me — greatly.

What are benefits of using affirmations? They:

  • Allow you to become more aware of your thoughts so you can focus on the ones that serve you.
  • Help you form a more positive, productive mindset.
  • Improve the quality of your life.
  • Assist in creating the positive changes you need to make in yourself and your life.

Ways to get started with using affirmations:

  • Find ones you like on Google or Pinterest (even create a board) and check out the Find Your Calm Affirmation Cards.
  • Write your own (see below) or ones you find, and put them on index cards or on sticky notes around your home.
  • Record them and listen to them in the morning or at night.
  • Use them as mantras while meditating.

A few tips for writing your own:

  • Think about/focus on what you want (not what you don’t want).
  • Write them positively (for example, “I experience calm,” not “I’m not stressed.”).
  • Start with “I am” or “I have.” If you have trouble really believing what you’re saying, you can say something like, “I choose to believe …” or “I believe it’s possible…”
  • Keep them short (so you can remember them more easily when you need to).

Interested in receiving monthly affirmations that will allow you to feel more calm? Learn more about our subscription service on Patreon!


5 to Days to More Calm: Self-Care

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

Today’s topic for 5 Days to More Calm is self-care!

First, we’ll start with a definition. The Oxford Dictionary defines self-care as “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.”

Many times, when people talk about self-care, it’s related to things like getting our hair and nails done, going to get a massage or going on a vacation. While there’s nothing wrong with doing these things (and they are a part of taking care of you), self-care is much more than that.  It’s about making sure you’re doing/feeling good and thriving physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. But as women/mothers/caregivers, it’s often challenging for us to actually practice self-care. Many times, we:

  • Feel we don’t deserve it.
  • Feel guilty about doing it.
  • Think we can’t make time.
  • Feel that we don’t have enough resources to do so.

Why is self-care important?

  • It can improve your physical health.
  • Improves your emotional wellness.
  • You feel better and are less likely to experience burnout.
  • It helps other people (and yourself) see your worth and know your needs are important because you’re putting you first
  • You’re better able to take care of your children and others because your cup is full.
  • It allows you to better deal with stress.

Here are various ways to practice self-care:


  • Pray/speak with your Higher Power/ancestors.
  • Spend time alone.
  • Try crystal healing.
  • Create a sacred space.
  • Practice gratitude.


  • Acknowledge how you feel.
  • Journal (about your feelings).
  • Find positive outlets/hobbies.
  • Get support by talking to someone you trust or trying therapy.
  • Try to avoid people/situations that trigger not-so-great feelings.


  • Be in the present moment.
  • Meditate.
  • Use positive affirmations.
  • Take a social media break.
  • Visualize.


  • Move your body.
  • Stay hydrated.
  • Get enough sleep..
  • Eat more healthful.
  • Take breaks more often.

If you’re ready to up your self-care game and create more calm and inner peace in your life, check out Black Mom’s Calm subscription offering! You can get access to guided meditations, monthly chats, personalized affirmations and more! Learn more and sign up here.


5 Days to More Calm: Yoga

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

Today’s topic for 5 Days to More Calm is yoga!

Yoga literally means “union” and can be defined as a “physical, mental and spiritual practice.” (Yogapedia). Although some say it originated in ancient India, some of yoga’s earliest manifestations were found in ancient Egypt (aka Kemet).

I first heard about yoga back in 2007 during an internship, but I didn’t start practicing consistently until 2014. I initially began as a way to snap back after having Nailah, but it eventually became so much more. I started feeling more grounded and centered; I noticed I was in the present moment more often, and I had a sense of inner peace, all of which made me fall in love with it. Yoga is now a tool I use almost daily for my inner peace and to also connect with myself and Spirit.

Some other benefits of yoga:

  • Improves flexibility and strength.
  • Can decrease stress levels and anxiety.
  • Helps you become more mindful (i.e., more present).
  • Increases your energy levels.
  • Improves heart health.

A few types of yoga you can try are:

  • Hatha (more gentle and good for beginners)
  • Vinyasa (generally faster than hatha with more movement)
  • Hot yoga (practiced in a heated room; encourages detoxification and enhances flexibility)
  • Restorative (holding supported poses for 5+ minutes for deep relaxation)
  • Kemetic (the ancient Egyptian system of yoga enlightenment)

Of course, you can find a local studio or gym that offers yoga classes, but if you feel more comfortable practicing at home (due to COVID-19 or just because that’s your preference), here are some tips to get started (you can read the entire blog post here):

  1. Set an intention. Why do you want to start your yoga practice?
  2. Create space. You don’t need a room of your own or a she-shed (but if you have one, use it!), just enough space for a yoga mat and maybe some calming tools like incense, candles or crystals.
  3. Make time for it. If you need to, put a reminder in your phone, put it in your planner or on your schedule. Consistency (however that looks for you) is key.
  4. Find an online teacher or YouTube videos. Yoga Greenbook provides information on Black yoga instructors.
  5. Remember it’s a practice. Be gentle with yourself. Do the best you can. Also remember: Yoga is for every body!

Want to get monthly Yoga PDFs and discounts on upcoming classes? Learn more about how you can join the subscription service on Patreon!


5 Days to More Calm: Mindfulness

Black Mom’s Guide to Calm

Today’s topic is mindfulness!

One definition is:

“awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.” (Jon Kabat-Zinn)

I’ve been an overthinking and a worrier since I was younger. I found (and still do sometimes) myself either constantly worrying about the future or replaying the past, what I should’ve/could’ve said/done differently which caused me to feel anxious and overwhelmed a lot. Yoga and meditation really helped (and continues to help) me stay present in the moment more often. I’ve also learned how to go with the flow of life, accept and embrace where I am in the moment, surrender to the process and trust Divine timing.

In addition, mindfulness:

  • Reduces stress and anxiety.
  • Can help with chronic pain and lower blood pressure.
  • Improves focus and concentration (which allows you to be more productive and have more energy).
  • Improves your self-awareness (you’ll better understand your strengths and weaknesses and know where you can improve).
  • Causes you to be less reactive (you’re less likely to snap or go off when you’re frustrated or angry).

I’m not sure it’s possible to be mindful every single second of the day (because: human), but there are practices you can incorporate so you’re more present more often. Here are a few:

  • Do one thing at a time (as much as possible).
  • Pause and take deep breaths, focusing on your inhales and exhales.
  • Take a moment to observe your surroundings with your 5 senses.
  • When having a conversation, listen as the other person is talking (instead of coming up with your reply while they’re still talking).
  • Practice mindful eating: Focus only on eating. Notice how your food smells, the temperature, the taste and texture. Chew slowly and really savor what you’re eating.
  • Scan your body. Become aware of any sensations you feel, notice how you’re breathing, see if you’re tense anywhere, notice how you feel emotionally.

I hope this quick overview will help you get started with your practice in being more present! If it does (or if you want to share a comment or have a question), please reach out to me here — I’d love to hear from you!

Also, for more (and exclusive!) resources for finding your calm, learn how you can be part of our new community here: Black Mom Calm Patreon.


34 Things I’ve Learned By 34

Black Mom's Guide to Calm

It’s my 34th birthday!! Since I was feeling kind of reflective this year, I decided to list some of the biggest things I’ve learned up to this point in my life. I hope you find them useful and inspiring for your own life — or that they at least serve as a reminder to you. 💙

  1. I create my own calm.
  2. I can’t effectively take care of others and handle what I need to if I don’t take care of myself first.
  3.  I don’t have to wait for a special occasion to treat myself.
  4. I deserve the very best in life.
  5. I don’t have to sacrifice myself and my needs.
  6. Worrying is a waste of time.
  7. I am worthy and enough just as I am, simply because I’m here.
  8. My best is good enough, and my best varies from day to day.
  9. It’s important to protect my peace and energy always.
  10. Forgiveness doesn’t require re-connection.
  11. Setting boundaries and learning to say no are crucial when it comes to self-care.
  12. It’s okay to allow people to be who they are; I can choose whether or not to deal with them.
  13. Done is better than perfect.
  14. Feel the fear. Do it anyway.
  15. I’m exactly where I need to be.
  16. It’s important that I listen to my intuition. She knows.
  17. Spirit has my back.
  18. Everything is working out for me, even when I can’t see it or it doesn’t feel like it.
  19. I’ll never know if something is possible if I don’t try.
  20. It is possible to experience love again after breakups.
  21. What’s for me is for me; it won’t pass me by.
  22. Sometimes, I have to be my own cheerleader and encourager.
  23. I must make time for myself daily.
  24. My mental and emotional health are as important as my physical health.
  25. It’s important to appreciate the “little “things and the things I generally take for granted.
  26. I need to be in and embrace the present moment as much as possible.
  27. Go with the flow instead of trying to force things to happen.
  28. Trust in Divine timing. Everything happens when it’s supposed to.
  29. Life ebbs and flows. Learn to ride the waves.
  30. It’s important to cherish my loved ones.
  31. I have to enjoy my journey.
  32. I’m on my own unique path, just like everybody else.
  33. I should be open to new ideas, people, experiences and open to life being different (and better!) than I could have ever imagined.
  34. It’s important for me to love myself fully and unconditionally while also being unapologetic in my evolution.